Crooked Post

City Description

Population: ~500

Founded: 2290 (100 years ago)

Crooked Post was founded by Dickard Gruffaw, a Dwarven prospector who believed he'd struck it rich by discovering a hidden vein of mythril in the nearby cave system. Being alone, Dickard staked his claim by erecting a massive post to signify his ownership. After years of mining with fellow believers, they eventually had to call it quits. But the town they'd built endured.

Crooked Post managed to endure by moving past its mining roots and cementing itself as a conveniently placed waypoint between a small ocean based shipyard in the west and the Phantom Plains. However, when that shipyard became the port city of Trine, Crooked Post became instead a home for those less welcome in civilized society.

Now, the remnants of an aspiring city are what remains in this town that seems more concerned with celebrating its past than trying to build its future. Greyhairs sit in taverns and lament all the unfound riches in the hills while unsavory folk find their riches elsewhere. Religious pilgrims can still be found often on Crooked Post, making their way to the Phantom Plains, and that town has taken to catering to Trine travelers while also cursing the city that drove them to poverty.

Recently, in the year 2386, the city was the site of an event known as the Bloodless Battle, where it's said a demon tried to take over the town, but a group of adventurers fought the demon, known as Pygmalion the Bloodless, to the death. Despite it only occurring a handful of years ago, details have already become hazy as the people of Crooked Post love to make it out as one of the most important events in Core Vandal's history. One rumor is that Demon's Hollow had something to do with it. Another is that it was a god trying to come back to life. Another is that Gruffaw Mining Operations released a monster from deep beneath the earth. Whatever the reason, Crooked Post has seen itself as quite the important locale since then.

City Landmarks

Gruffaw Mining Operations: the business has been passed down from through five generations, and now Dickard's great-great-great-granddaughter runs all mining operations out of Crooked Post. If there were any. Which they are not. Instead, GFO has its hands in less legal enterprises as of late. The abandoned mines outside the city haven't been delved in over a hundred years, and Gruffaw hasn't swung a pickaxe in longer.

Demon's Hollow Embassy: The mountain citadel of Demon's Hollow once made an honest effort at goodwill outreach in the realm of Core Vandal. Unfortunately, they focused their efforts in Crooked Post, for some reason. Now, an embassy of the reclusive citadel is the only one of its kind in Vault, and isn't much use to anyone. But they pay to keep the embassy up, so that's nice.

The Mythril Dream: the largest tavern and gambling den in Crooked Post, it's famed for its "chicken" soup and the construct battle arena found out back. Artificers from Ology can often be found testing their creations at the Mythril Dream before showing them to the public.

Effi's Pages: the calm eye in the town's storm, the book shop is a place where the placid and peace-seeking inhabitants of Crooked Post can find respite. There was a truce in the town when Effi set the place up that no harm could come of it because "learning is good." Since then, that truce has become a tradition with a touch of superstition. Any thug, thief, or swindler protect the Pages like it was their own blood.

Abandoned Mines: the original caverns excavated at Crooked Post's conception still sit abandoned outside the town. The lower levels are flooded and many of the drunks, dreamers, and explorers who enter end up not coming out. Considering the mazelike lack of organization with which the tunnels were dug as miner became more and more desperate for returns, it's no wonder people never find their way out.

Gunnderson and Sons Ironworks: the local smiths who long ago stated with making mining equipment, but have since transitioned into weaponry, especially their renowned axes. Many in the town have tried to the convince the Gunndersons to sell their wares in Trine, but they are homers and refuse to sell to anyone they didn't grow up with.

The Temple of the Gods: perhaps the greatest grifters in Crooked Post are the town holy men. Pandering to whatever faith one can profess, the couple accepts offerings on behalf of any god you can name, and even some you can't. They display the utmost piety in the pews, and the foulest mouths at the Mythril Dream.

Turtle Market: sometimes referred to as "the turt," this open air market is located in central Crooked Post. So named because its said the first thing to ever be sold in the town was a turtle. The reason why has as many answers as they are people in the market, of which there are many. While it's always open, it's generally accepted that everyone comes out one day a week whether you're buying or not. It really brings the town together.
Evergrace Apothecary: doubling as both a place for potions and tinctures as well as the local healing hut, the Evergrace Apothecary, run by Belinda Evergrace, is usually filled with those nursing broken bones from bar fights or vomiting up poison beers. While Belinda has some skill in magical healing, she relies mainly on the herbs and minerals found near Crooked Post for healing its population. But the price is always steep, and there’s a reason other healers in the town have all turned up sick or worse.

People of Note

Mayor Poll Gunnderson: Male Goliath, newly appointed mayor of Crooked Post after the Bloodless Battle

Effi Underfoot: Female Halfling, owner of Effi's Pages and reclusive bookworm

Peer and Jamail Vantir: Male Elves, married priests at the Temple of the Gods

Rolf Gunnderson: Male Goliath, patriarch of the Gunnderson family

Wate Gunnderson: Male Goliath, the oldest son of the Gunnderson family

Jaime Guffaw: Female Dwarf, very young head of Guffaw Mining Operations after her mother's passing

Pinstruck Zam'zizzero: Male Gnome, co-owner of the Mythril Dream

Charity Love: Female Human, co-owner of the Mythril Dream

Vrondiss Bahagush: Male Dragonborn, best hunter in the town

Belinda Evergrace: Female Human, owner of Evergrace Apothecary